Doodlebug - Tally Mark 132

Rie,

My sweet boy!  How has another year gone by?  I feel as if I was just writing your letter for when you turned 8 and were getting baptized.  Yet it still somehow feels like you were just born and all of the nurses were jealous that you arrived with the hair color they all pay their stylists to give them.  Regardless, here we are.

What a year it has been, filled mostly with baseball and school and a bit of cross country thrown in.  You made the All Star team with little league.  The day of tryouts, we got a call from a board member that two teams wanted you and you had to decide if you played with your age or the older boys.  Since you played Majors and had already competed against the older boys, you chose to stick with them.  As you did throughout the regular season, you held your own and earned your spot on the team.  You opted to stay with a majority of the same boys from All Stars as you transitioned into fall and spring travel ball.  It was a good experience for you to play with different boys and gain a better understanding of how your performance is not the only thing that impacts your ability to play baseball.  Your mindset influences so much, and that's something you've been struggling with.  You set the bar high for yourself, in everything you do.  But when you don't meet your own standards, you get really frustrated and down.  You want to be perfect but that's not always going to be the outcome.  We hope as you progress both in baseball and life that you remember the most important thing is to try your best.  And if your best for that game means you swung the bat yet struck out, at least you tried.  If it means you got in front of the ball but it still snuck by you, you tried your best.  

The same standards you set for yourself in baseball you set for yourself in school.  The beginning of 5th grade was a struggle.  You were extremely afraid of disappointing your teacher that you no longer wanted to go to school.  As much as you pushed back, we sat down with her and shared your concerns.  She was sad to think you thought you would disappoint her.  She shared how grateful she was you were in her class, how well you listened and how much you participated (despite your shyness), how your classmates looked up to you, and how kind you were to everyone.  She reiterated those words when she presented you with the Difference Maker award in the last trimester.  You were afraid you were going to end your streak of getting an award every grade of elementary school but then she surprised you.  And you definitely earned it!

Speaking of school, you had your Walk Through the Revolution presentation this month.  You were NOT looking forward to it.  As we know, public speaking and memorization is not your cup of tea.  Yet, as you've proven to us before, you practiced often and had your lines memorized in no time.  You were very worried about your costume and if looked authentic enough.  Sure enough, you looked fantastic.  I had to work but Daddy was able to watch you in person and you did an amazing job.  Isn't it cool to remember being so afraid of something yet you conquered it as if it was nothing?  Amazing what happens when you put in the hard work and determination.  

You and Connor are still best friends.  His mom and I talk about it often, how you two are perfect for each other.  He's outgoing and you're reserved, he has ADHD and you stay focused, he's energetic and you're mellow.  This is the first year that you've been on the same baseball team, and you both got picked for All Stars.  Even with school ending, you guys will still be able to see each other every day at practice.  Connor's friend, Andrew, was also on your little league team for spring.  The three of you were a riot - only smiles and laughing when you got together.  We're hopeful that come next school year, all three of you can ride your bikes together and create an even stronger friendship.

Speaking of school next year, you'll be in middle school!  And you are not looking forward to it.  Mainly because you'll have to change for P.E.  You were very worried about the type of underwear to use as most of the boys that age wear Ethikas.  We've got you stocked up between Christmas and your birthday, and I think that has helped ease your anxiety a little bit.  Your brother has assured you that nobody is going to be looking at your underwear but I think it's something you'll need to experience for yourself before your nerves are settled.  You were ready to leave elementary school once they stopped letting you play football.  You felt very restricted there and are hopeful you'll be given a little more independence in middle school.  Your brother said that won't come until high school but we'll see.

You also tell us you're excited to eat the pizza at middle school because the school lunch at elementary school is less than palatable.  There were many a days this last year where you would come home and I'd ask you what you had for lunch.  "Chips" or "nothing" were the most common responses.  Despite me encouraging you to take a lunch from home, you insisted on eating the school lunch or at least intended to.  Unfortunately, the middle school eats the same school lunch as elementary school (with the exception of the pizza) so we'll have to see what happens.

We'll also have to see if you decide to do cross country in middle school.  You felt a bit defeated at the end of the 5th grade season because your time wasn't improving.  I told you I'd start running with you to help you practice more but that only lasted once.  You're a much faster runner than I am and I was slowing you down.  But we have the summer to try again.  I hope you'll choose to participate in cross country - it's good for you to be active in something other than baseball.  


In addition to liking pizza, you get excited when we have enchiladas, tacos, and spaghetti for dinner.  You do not get excited when we have broccoli or soup, and you definitely don't like it when we have broccoli soup.  You would consume soda all day long if we'd let you but I'm not certain how much your body agrees with it.  You also love Pirates Booty and Pepperoncini flavored potato chips.  Nerd Gummy Clusters are your favorite candy and you love s'mores.  You alternate between bagels and cereal for breakfast, depending on what we have available.  You are an early riser whether you need to get up or not.  You like sleeping in the spare bedroom so you're not with your brother.  Aksel is your favorite and you don't hesitate to tell him or show him how much you love him.  It is the opposite with your family - we don't get very much love or affection.  It's a challenge for you to open up and share your feelings but when you do, you can see the physical release as you no longer have to hold it in.  You still watch YouTube but now you watch it while you play video games.  As someone who doesn't like a lot of noise, it doesn't seem to overwhelm you.  You think we should let you stay home by yourself but you still ask that we order for you at restaurants.  You have a hard time remembering family members that live out of state but that's partially because we don't get to see them very often.  You only wear Jordans and Santa Cruz shirts.  You've lost several baby teeth this year and should be getting your braces off soon.  You are convinced you're taller than me but you have a couple more inches to go.  You wear a size 8.5 shoe in men's and wonder where you get it from (cue Uncle Kenny).  You're not a fan of doing your chores nor music.  You love cars and always want us to race people in the Explorer.  You are funny, smart, kind, and fantastic at everything you try.  I hope you can acknowledge and appreciate those same things about yourself.

I love you and can't wait to see all you accomplish as an 11 year old!

-Mama

The Lime - Tally Mark 180

 Freddy,

If I'm being honest, I can't remember the last time I called you that.  Very rarely am I getting you prepped to get out of the house when I have to say, "Are you ready, Freddy?" like I did 13 years ago.  Those were the days where you spent a majority of your time at Aunty Kari's house, biting Grace and running around the couch.  Now you chew on your hoodie drawstrings and run 6:24 miles.

We spent the day in Santa Cruz with your friends.  You were looking forward to it for weeks!  Emily and Dustin let us borrow their Sprinter van, which you guys loved.  The extra room meant that Aksel got to come with us.  We woke up early, made the nearly three hour drive down, visited some surf shops where you got some steezy clothes and a new skim board, ate at Pleasure Pizza because that's where Jay worked, then headed to Manresa.  You all literally cheered as we pulled into the parking lot because of the waves and the other Sprinter vans in the parking lot.  Despite being 55* outside and even colder in the water, you all jumped in without hesitation.  You all had to take breaks to warm up before you jumped back in.  You wanted to stay until sunset, which we did, and then it was off to Gay Nineties for more pizza.  Everyone was exhausted but that felt like a good sign that it was a good day.

I loved watching you with your friends.  They're all such good kids and I'm so grateful you have them (Jackson, Bryce, and Liam).  Your interactions are hilarious (facts!) and you have to translate often for me as I don't understand the language you all use.  You're always off on an adventure with them such as building jumps, fishing in gated communities, riding downtown, going to skate and bike parks, or visiting all of the local McDonald's and using your points to get free food.  

Speaking of food, you love food.  Daddy has to tell you often to slow down because you inhale your food.  You get heartburn from eating your Nachos Bell Grande too quickly, and had an experience last year during baseball umpiring also from Taco Bell.  You still eat salami every day for lunch but at least you make your lunches now (most days).  You still don't eat cereal with milk but will eat an entire package of graham crackers in one sitting.  You watch food videos on YouTube and then crave whatever you watched for weeks.  You would drink your ranch if it was socially acceptable and you think the ranch from fast food restaurants tastes better than the Hidden Valley in our fridge.  You wish you could eat chicken and we need to get you tested again to see if you're still allergic.

You learned how to swallow pills this year but it took some bribery from Daddy, offering to take you driving.  One night, several months ago, on the way home from a fireside, you asked if you could drive in a parking lot.  That was a mistake on my end.  The first thing you said was, "This is nothing like the video game!"  You've been asking to drive ever since.  July will be here before we know it!  You have grand ideas of the shenanigans you're going to pull once you get your license, and you'd love a van to drive so you can take your bike to the mountains or your boards to the beach.  You love driving Emily and Dustin's golf cart at their house and reassure me you know what you're doing as you spin doughnuts in the rocks.  You make car noises all day long, which drives Daddy crazy, but you know a lot about cars and continue to learn more.  You egg me on to race people in the Explorer and ask me to cut in traffic, which will never happen.

What did happen, though, is you worked so hard towards the end of 8th grade and into high school this year.  You even ended up with two As and two Bs at the end of last semester.  High school has been a good fit for you, thus far.  The teachers seem to understand the mentality of teenagers and take that into account on a variety of levels.  Not that they're easy on you, but there doesn't seem to be so much of a focus on perfection like it seemed to be in middle school.  Everyone is willing to help and do whatever they can in high school to see you succeed.  I hope all four years end up being this good.

You played on the fall baseball team and next week will be try outs for spring.  You spent the winter weightlifting with your team and discovered muscles you didn't know you had.  You understand you aren't the best player on the team but you think your positive attitude is appreciated by your coaches.  You're hesitant to play in the spring, if you make it, because you think you won't have time to ride with your friends.  But I reminded you that the days will grow longer and it won't be dark at 5:30 forever.  you told me last night that you don't mind missing baseball so much when you're not playing it but when you're around your teammates, it makes you want to play.  We'll see how things pan out next week.  Unfortunately, you lost one of your teammates suddenly several months ago.  It's suspected he passed from a brain aneurysm but I don't know if it was ever confirmed.  While you weren't extremely close to him, he did have an impact on you.  Your team honored him in several ways and you wear a bracelet everyday in remembrance of him.

You're about 6 feet tall and (I believe) are the tallest youth in our ward, wear a size 12 shoe, prefer your jeans baggy, you enjoy shopping at thrift stores, you still sleep with Lucifer, you always bring a blanket out to the family room with you, you'd sleep with your earbuds in if we'd let you, you also sleep in your jeans, you plan your outfits every night for the following day, you always ask what's for dinner, you go to seminary because we make you, you have a hard time remembering to turn your bedroom fan off and to put your dirty clothes in the hamper, you don't want braces even though the dentist said you should get them, you refuse to shave your mustache, you'd prefer to grow up and be homeless if it meant you could live by the beach, you come up with detailed scenarios like how you were going to catch the person who stole Daddy's bike, you love listening to music, and I can't remember the last time I saw you wear a baseball hat.

As always, do well, be kind, you're amazing, and always try your best.  I love you so much!

-Mama