-- October 22, 2013 --
For as long as I can remember, I've had vivid dreams and I can usually remember them once I wake up. Last night/this morning was no exception.
I've been on this Temple Run kick and wanted to try one of the other versions. The Wizard of Oz looked appealing so I downloaded it a few days ago. Just like the movie, they have flying monkeys that chase you and randomly scoop you up. While I haven't played it in a couple days, it somehow landed in my dreams last night. I was at my childhood home, sitting in the living room, looking out the side window that led into the backyard. There were the flying monkeys, eating the brains out of a big gorilla as well as baby monkeys. I was able to save one of the babies but then the monkeys moved onto crows. Blech! Completely morbid and it woke me up. I had to think for a second if it was real or not.
Later on, I had a dream about this immaculate house that we found for my parents. It was old, Victorian, but had a touch of country. The rooms were large and the kitchen completely re-done. As I walked throughout the house, checking everything out, I fell more and more in love. There was a parlor, a family room, several different nooks that my parents could use as an office and craft room, tons of rooms upstairs with beds for us to stay in, a nursery with cribs lining the walls, and one large room with tons of beds for all the grand kids to stay in. It was perfect and only $250,000...but also in Texas.
Last dream was about school. I still have dreams about high school although I've been out for 12 years. I was all ready to go one morning and it was 8:30, school started at 9:00. My sister was just getting in the shower and I knew we'd be late, which made me extremely upset. We finally got on our way, only to find the morning traffic completely out of control. For this part, we were in San Francisco, and I was trying to pull out onto the main road but there were too many cars coming from both directions. Finally, a gentleman stopped traffic so I could be on my way and I zipped right along in my car. While I was trying to merge over, I switched to a bike and ended up riding next to Brian Amyx. Brian Amyx?! I haven't seen him since graduation and I haven't talked to him for even longer. Why was he in my dream and why did I almost run him off the path with my bike?
That's when I heard The Lime wake up and my dreams were over for the night.
While checking babycenter.com this morning, I came across this tidbit of information for today...how appropriate.
-- October 28, 2013 --
I'm not quite sure what set me off last night, but as I was laying in bed, my mind turned to The Lime not being my only child and I got really sad. Thankfully LaVor had fallen asleep before me so he wasn't aware of how upset I was. I'm actually surprised I didn't wake him up with my sniffing and body shaking.
Let me take you back about a year, when LaVor and I had been trying to get pregnant for four months. Like I've mentioned before, we got pregnant with The Lime fairly quickly so when it didn't happen that way this time around, it was strange. With each new month came another disappointment and I finally got to the point where it was normal to not be pregnant. I finally accepted the fact that The Lime was going to be our only child and I was fine with that. Because I love him to pieces and was grateful to him for making me a mom in the first place.
Then I started not feeling well (lots of different symptoms) and all the tests came back normal. On Saturday, September 21, LaVor asked what was wrong and I told him I just felt off. I don't know why it didn't occur to me earlier but I thought I should take a pregnancy test. The following Monday, I took one and within seconds it came back positive. After fifteen months of trying, we were finally having a baby. After wanting one so bad, I thought I would have been ecstatic but I wasn't.
I had my first appointment with my doctor last week and brought The Lime with me. We didn't tell him we were having a baby because we didn't want the beans to be spilled. When the doctor did the ultrasound, The Lime asked, "What is that?!" I told him it was either his brother or sister. He paused, thought for a second, and went back to playing. We haven't talked anymore about it, but will soon, so I don't think he fully gets what is happening.
I think my biggest fear is him feeling sad or left out. And while I know he'll be such a good helper, I just worry.
It all comes back to this dreaded word "change" that I can't stop talking about.
-- January 30, 2014 --
There have been some similarities between this pregnancy and The Lime's but also several differences. It all started at the very beginning with being nauseous all the time. While I never physically got sick, it still wasn't fun and I wasn't very fun to be around. I tried not to complain, especially since there was nothing I could do about it, but I'm so glad that part is over.
Each week, it seems like, brings something new. Overall, I think I'm gaining weight at a faster pace this time around. And while I understand the baby adds to that (as of 1/16/14, the doctor estimated the baby to weight 1.5 pounds...more than most babies do at that point), as does the extra fluid and other changes to my body, I'm still not a fan of being big. As shallow as it might sound, I prefer to be little. It's a very odd thing to be skinny and then look in the mirror and have a basketball attached to your stomach. I miss my waist.
I do enjoy feeling all the movement and have just started to see the kicks/wiggles this week. The Lime asks several times a day, "What's Doodlebug doing?" Most of the time, he's just there but every once in a while I can tell The Lime that he's dancing or excited. He's most active from about 9:00 at night until I wake up in the morning. Hopefully not a sign that I'm going to get zero sleep once he arrives.
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